The past few weeks, and I would say even months, my soul has been in a place of, well, tension is the best word I can think of at the moment. The past few months I have been confronted with a question. It haunts me. It is a question that scares me because of the implications it has if I believe it is true.
Do I really believe the gospel? I mean really really believe it?
I have grown up with it, have been comfortable with it, and have called myself a Christian for as long as I can remember. But do I really believe the gospel? Because if I do, it has radical implications about how I live my life. If I really believe that over 5 billion of people in this world are currently living under the judgement of God and if they died today would go to an eternal hell of judgement, wrath and condemnation, then the implications on my life are eternally and radically huge. I can't live the "Christian life" I have been so comfortable with living. But the thing is, I am not the only one feeling this way. Many of my friends have expressed the same thoughts. Pastors like, Chandler, Platt, Piper, MacArthur, Driscoll and Chan are all preaching this biblical understanding of what it means to follow Christ. It is my hope and prayer that the rest of the the american Church is convicted and wants to live their lives solely for the glory of God and supremacy of Christ. This is biblical living. It may look radical to the current church, but it is how Christ commands us to live. It is simply biblical living.
I believe that God is already at work among a few in this country to change the way we have done Christianity. In the words of David Platt, there are many who want to take back our faith from the american dream and plant it in the truth of the gospel.
Man, it is so hard sometimes because we are surrounded by this church culture that for the most part preaches that as long as we are saved everything okay. We can kick back, enjoy our wealth until we die because we know we are going to heaven. We have bought into this lie that somehow Jesus is pleased with us if we live comfortable, selfish lifestyles as long as we don't do the really big sins and go to church and small group. But as I read the gospels and about the lives of the early church I am convinced that we as the 21st century church in America have got it completely wrong. There is nothing in scripture that says "get saved so you can enjoy earthly treasures". Jesus actually rebukes many people of this and warns that this type of behavior leads not to eternal life but to torment. Just open the gospels and start reading and there it is.
I don't have many answers. I just know that I have lived so selfishly and comfortably for too long. I really want to know what it means to follow Christ. To really follow Christ. To really view my life as a living sacrifice and completely surrendered to Christ. I don't just want to write a blog about this. I want Christ to consume me and the life He has given me to live. I want to be abandoned from the things of the world and attached to Christ. I want be able to say as Paul did, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." I am so far from that statement right now. I am not even close. There is much fear and doubt, but mostly fear I still need to work through. But I can't do it on my own. I need you. I need you who is reading this to encourage me. I need you because you need me. We need to walk through this together. If we are really going to live as his true church and bride, we need to do this together.
Let us finish the race together so our Lord can say "well done my good and faithful servants. Enter into the joy of your master."
JN
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